You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
