We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
