I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize