we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
