There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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