i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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