And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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