theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
