By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Terrible idea I love it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
