Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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