i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
