No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your cock deserves a montage
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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