Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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