Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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