Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
