Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
