You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
