If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
