How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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