I hate your face
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
