no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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