her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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