New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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