the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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