Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize