this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize