i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
