Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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