at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
