We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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