GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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