Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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