I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
