Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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