Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
