My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
