Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
