My hand turned me down
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
