didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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