Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
