You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
