I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
wow bdsm is so cute
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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