I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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