matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
