I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
