try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
