i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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