I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
