he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
