Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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