end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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