Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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