mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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