dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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