are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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