What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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