i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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