im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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