you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
