Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
