Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize