i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Randomize
