i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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