My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
