Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You made out with two different species that night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
