Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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